Mr. Steinbrenner, tear down those walls!

If time travel were possible, it would be a terrible idea to go back in time and kill little baby Hitler. Hear me out. Hitler was a bad dude. I know. I get it. But I would probably not even exist if it wasn't for Hitler. My grandmother would probably not have joined the Royal Air Force in England and gone on to serve her country in the Netherlands after the war where she met my grandfather. Ergo, no me. So if you ever figure out that time machine you've been working on in your basement, please don't kill little tiny baby Hitler. I like being here.

I don't eat Whataburger very often, but when I do it is best served with Strawberry Fanta.

I'm so proud of my mom. She was meeting with her financial advisor the other day and he told her he was going to use a baseball metaphor. So he starts off with, "Let's say you want to buy the Yankees..." My mom immediately cut him off and said, "NO NO NO! I don't wanna buy the Yankees! I hate the Yankees!" Well done, Mom. I told her the only way it's ok for her to buy the Yankees is if she buys them and then immediately closes down shop. Just really stick it to the Yankees. I know it'd be expensive, but it would totally be worth it. And you could probably still make a killing selling off all of their assets and collectibles. Then tear down the stadium. I mean, that's some valuable real estate. Someone should really look into that.

No Wave

Around the top of the list of things I wish I'd done when I was a kid is playing little league baseball. It's not that I didn't have the opportunity to play, I guess I just lacked the self confidence to give it a shot. I guess that's a pretty mild regret. But man...I love baseball.

Tonight I ate an entire Big as Yo' Face burrito from Chuy's. I was hongry.

I know this isn't exactly a triumphant return to the blogosphere, but I figure you gotta start somewhere.

Catch you on the flip side!